Anaín Bjorkquist

K is for Kismet

Long before becoming a woman, I thought that I would never be fortunate enough to be considered one of the beautiful ones. I was certain that I was destined to forever be ugly. Today, as a grown woman I know that every woman has the power to claim the label beautiful.

Beauty has little to do with your physical form or fitting into society’s limiting beauty standards.

Beauty is about owning that pleasure is your birthright and spending your days cultivating a life that lights you up from the inside out.

If nobody ever taught you that or if you have yet to come to that realization on your own, that last sentence can sound like a completely empty nicety or self-love slogan.

But words have meaning and the very definition of beauty is what I use to help my clients reclaim the word.

Full Definition of BEAUTY

1:  the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit : loveliness

2:  a beautiful person or thing; especially :  a beautiful woman

3:  a particularly graceful, ornamental, or excellent quality

4:  a brilliant, extreme, or egregious example or instance beauty

5:  bottom 9

There in the definition of beauty is all the permission you need to dive deep into exploring with all your senses what pleases your mind and spirit.

Right this minute you can disregard society’s standards of physical attractiveness.

That bold act will free you from falling to all the marketing schemes of the “beauty” industry. When you stop thinking about what you don’t want to look like you can start focusing on how you want to feel and what you want to experience.

“It isn’t that simple!” my clients protest.

But it is because you already have everything you need to change how you think about beauty.

Fire up your senses…all of them!

Today, I’d like to focus on the two senses that women suppress the most because they worry about beauty.

Sense of taste… More than likely, taste is your most lustful sense yet far too often women ignore their desires for flavor because of diet culture. Trusting your hunger might even sound like taking the fast lane towards weight gain but it is actually the opposite.

What foods bring up sensations of pleasure when you think about their taste? Bonus points for foods that you love the sight, sound or feel of.

I want you to create an afternoon snack around one or more of these foods.

For me, this usually looks like a big bowl of strawberries, raspberries and blackberries with just a touch of whipped cream over them. On an extra hot day, it can be as simple as a slice of watermelon. A very cold + super juicy slice of watermelon that I can enjoy while sitting poolside and letting the juices run down my hands and arms. Eating it like I did when I was a little girl – without a care in the world.

Taking time to eat either of these snacks is an experience for me. A break from my long days that can be tiresome and stressful. Making sure that I have these items that bring my palette joy and my body energy in my fridge is an act of self-care + self-love.

There is beauty in eating what you like, when you like regardless of the number on the scale.


There is power in knowing what brings your taste buds pleasure that also fuels your body to function at its healthiest. This power gives you the ability to change the cards life dealt you genetically when it comes to health and wellness.

I dare you to make eating a full sensory experience!

Sense of touch… What do you think of when I say touch? Do you imagine touching a hot or cold object? Did running your hand on something smooth or rough come to mind? What about taking your own hands to nurture yourself with touch?

Does the thought of touching yourself make you feel a bit uneasy, maybe even a little dirty?

Well, I wasn’t talking about that kind of sexy touch. What I am referring to is the tremendous pleasure that your limbs can bring your body, relaxing your mind and lightening the load on your spirit.

I want you to take an hour after your next shower to spoil your skin from head to toe with your favorite lotion.

Make sure to go nice and slow. Watch the process, enjoy the scent of the lotion (if your skin can tolerate scented lotions) and make it a point to use your non-dominant hand as much as the dominant one. Lean into how it feels. Play with the amount of pressure you put on your skin. Try different strokes. For extra credit, use your feet to distribute the lotion down your legs.

Years ago, I had a lover that had the softest skin in all the Universe, his secret was his post shower sensual lotion ritual. I remember making fun of him for taking so much time to do something as basic as put lotion on until the day I met a man that wanted to spoil me in this way. Later in life I found out that many of my male friends had similar rituals, while many of my girlfriends rushed through it without enjoying the process.

It is difficult to feel beautiful when your body is dying to be touched.


There is power in taking it into your own hands to provide your body the touch it needs to feel a sense of aliveness. This power helps you attract lovers that are also more alive and tuned in to their body’s needs.

I dare you to make touching yourself part of your daily ritual. Lotion optional. 

Beauty is spending your days cultivating a life that lights you up from the inside out and this is what fate brought you here for. You are kismet. You have the power to control what happens in your future and to decide how you define beauty.

You are one of the beautiful ones if you are fierce enough to choose pleasure over society’s beauty standards.

© Anaín Bjorkquist July 30, 2015 ~ All Rights Reserved.

This post is part of The Layers of Beauty Tour created by GG Renee of All the Many Layers. Follow the tour through the blogs of 25 women exploring the complexities of womanhood and beauty from A to Z. Click here to keep up with each post and enter to win a giveaway package of goodies for your mind, body and soul. #LayersAtoZTour

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