Anaín Bjorkquist

the definition of sexy

Hiya! Happy Hump Day.

Today, I have for you a short story and something for you to ponder.

The story: Have you ever had someone use the textbook definition of a word against you when you were trying to make a point? Or have you ever read the definition of a word and felt totally deflated because you felt that the definition should have more punch?

Both happened to me recently. The worst part was that it happened when I was having yet another conversation with my sons about the use of the word sexy. My youngest loves to call everything sexy. Loves to say he’s sexy. He can’t stop, won’t stop using the word sexy and since he’s been back in public school it has been getting worse.

I was cooking and my Kings were sitting around the kitchen island chatting about some video game when the youngest says something about some weapon in the game being sexy. I pipe in to say that everything isn’t sexy, that he shouldn’t use that word to describe just anything. As I’m midstream making a point my oldest – the loves to be right teen – asks if he can interrupt me for a minute to say something. Continue Reading

are you addicted to your past?

Hi Friends,

How is 2013 treating you so far? Have you welcomed it willingly? Of course you’re excited about the new year because it can mean the beginning of a new and better ending for the story of you. A new you!

A new me. Yes! With each year it seems that I evolve as I gain more self-knowledge. The me of 2013 will definitely be different than the me of 2012. Today’s me can barely remember how the me of 2009 created such a painful narrative for me.

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about why some people are better at creating change in their lives than others. Those that can’t seem to change their lives seem to be addicted to their past. Pasts in which they were hurt, pasts that shaped their choices and circumstances, pasts that they can never get back, but it is in those past stories where they are stuck and they can’t move forward.

People addicted to their past tell their “stories” often (and sometimes to everyone). They aren’t telling “stories” as in lying. They are telling stories as in sharing the story of what hurt them. We all do it sometimes. Who hasn’t told and retold the story of when their heart was broken, a loved one betrayed them or when they’ve let themselves down? Continue Reading

talking sex-positive parenting on Sexploration with Monika

Last month, I had the pleasure of attending a bondage dinner at the Supperclub with my friend Midori that was hosted by Sexploration with Monika.

Anaín Having Some Fun

Having Some Fun

Yes, dinner + a sexy show + conversation surrounded by beautiful people was everything this mommy needed to recharge after a long week of taking care of others!

What happened at this bondage dinner did not entirely stay there. Monika was podcasting the event, describing many of the delicious details, interviewing Midori about performance art, chatting it up with me  about sex-positive parenting and interviewing performers Dorian Faust and Lady Samar. The podcast turned out to be an enticing recording that gives listeners a tiny glimpse into the erotic experience. Listen to it here. Continue Reading

hump day heat: just touch me

Do you ever feel too tired for sex? Do you ever feel like you aren’t connecting with your partner enough to follow through on sex?

Today’s hump day heat exercise might just be the cure for you.

Don’t think there isn’t a person around that doesn’t have stress in their life. This time of year it seems like all the stress of the festivities add up on top of our normal stress, then before we know it we are too tired for sex.

Sometimes the last thing I want to hear from my partner after a long day of meeting all my responsibilities, jumping over life’s hurdles and trying to find five minutes in my day to unwind – is a request to have sex. Often even on the days when I know that sex is totally what would hit the spot, allowing me to relax, feel fulfilled and fall asleep quickly, I can’t bring myself to initiate it. Continue Reading

help make 101 Vagina happen

Although I wholeheartedly believe that the terms vagina and vulva should not be mixed up and that we should make a point to use the terms properly as often as possible, I do think that projects like 101 Vagina can make a difference.

101 Vagina is a worthy project because on top of the beautiful photography in the book, that brings light the range of variation there is between women’s vulvas it also includes messages written by the women in the photographs. These messages give us insight into thoughts that women usually don’t share with others. Personally, I can’t get enough of knowing the private thoughts of others when it comes to sexuality and body image and I think the more we put out into the world, the sooner everyone will see there is not one “normal.”

Oh, I totally got ahead of myself didn’t I? Haven’t even explained to you what the 101 Vagina project is. Here’s their crowdfunding video so that you can see and hear more about it from them. Continue Reading