Anaín Bjorkquist

you’re a lady but…?

You’re such a fucking lady. Yes, you say you are. Yet, your behavior says different. You constantly are judging other women. While delivering judgment you call the women that you think aren’t pretty, aren’t good enough or aren’t this or that thing which doesn’t please your perfect lady self hoes, sluts and bitches. You shit on hoes. You slay sluts. You are the baddest bitch. Well, I don’t think that you are much of a lady. Not because you use profanity but because you are perpetuating a mentality that needs to stop in order for women to get further.

How can we women be upset at men calling us bitches, hoes and sluts IF other women are persistently referring to other women and many times for no reason as those things?

Seriously, I thought that speaking like this ended at a certain age but it obviously doesn’t. When I was a teen and even more ignorant than I am now these words were part of my everyday vernacular. We would be talking about this girl or that girl and we’d use all these terms to refer to them. YET, my girls and I would be upset when guys called women these names and one of us would always chime in when a guy would use a derogatory term when referencing a woman. The conversation would go like this:

Guy: Man that bitch has the phattest ass. What I wouldn’t do to that ho!

Gal: Why she gotta be a bitch and ho? Y’all always calling women bitches and hoes for no reason! ::sucks teeth::

Guy: Bitch please! You and your hoes stay calling women all kinds of hoes, sluts and bitches. ::busts out laughing with his boys::

And yes, that is the type of ignorance I used to be around and the type of ignorance that I grew beyond. I am still friends with some of the women I was friends with back then and guess what? The ones I am still friends with also grew beyond calling women derogatory terms in everyday conversation.

Have the words ho, bitch and slut become synonyms for the phrase “other women I don’t like”?

These days when I hear women use these terms it is always in reference to a woman she doesn’t like for some reason. Examples…I won’t give you any go do a Twitter search and you’ll see plenty of examples within seconds of women using these words to refer to other women. If women are already dissing, dogging and talking shit about another woman do they really need to add the extra demeaning word(s) when speaking about them? They are already demeaning women for whatever reason they don’t like the other women…why add the extras?

I honestly think that women can’t move forward until ladies stop using the words bitch, ho and slut when speaking about other women. We especially need to stop doing this in front of men because us saying it cosigns them doing the same. IF we want men to give women more respect we must as women make sure that we respect one another and ourselves more! I could go on and on but…

…Instead of me preaching on this soapbox any further how about I open the conversation up to y’all…

…Ladies, here are my questions to you:

Since it seems that the words ho, bitch and slut have become interchangeable synonyms for the phrase “other women I don’t like” should we just ignore it until it goes away?

If it has become a pop culture thing, should we expect women above a certain age to do better and not use these words to refer to other women?

Should we start calling out our girlfriends when they refer to women like this?

Can we women be upset at men calling women bitches, hoes and sluts IF other women are persistently using these words to demean other women? Shouldn’t we fix this problem “in house” first?

Ladies, please feel free to ask the class questions that you think would help this conversation. If you completely disagree with me about this topic tell me why. Drop whatever knowledge you feel is needed into this conversation. This is your license to go in the via the comments below. Not on Twitter or Facebook because then we all can’t participate and engage one another.

Fellas, you can get in on this too! Please drop whatever knowledge you feel is needed into this conversation. Here are a couple of questions for y’all, while we are at it:

How do you feel when you hear women calling other women bitches, hoes, and sluts?

Do you think that if women stopped using these terms that less men would also use them?

© Anaín Bjorkquist February 28, 2011 ~ All Rights Reserved.

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