There is no defense or offense that will work when he or she can ALWAYS make you laugh.

I’m smiling but I’m NOT laughing!

Is the only defense answer I can muster in those moments when my best friend of the last thirteen years makes me laugh even when I don’t want to…even when I know he is laughing at me and not with me. Laughing at me? Yes. That’s when you know that it is love when your ego retracts and it allows you to let that guard down. All the way down and you can let go and laugh at yourself. He makes me laugh at myself.

After thirteen years of hardships, infidelity, the most incredible ups, the world’s most earth shattering downs and AMAZING vacations to the most romantic spots there is not a damn thing in this ENTIRE world that can compare to the moments where we laugh as a pair. Those moments in bed when sexy time is ON I take my panties off and say in a silly voice to him…

PAN-ties!

While holding them in front of his face and he just cracks the fuck up AT me! In that instant those moments when we were too young to know better don’t matter. The fact that we made the wrong choices which affected us adversely go out the window because the bedroom is filled with laughter. A laughter that is intoxicating. Laughter that carries us forward through the fucking that follows, the morning after and those moments in which we know that we haven’t always done right by one another.

Laughter just might be the aphrodisiac that keeps us together.

The more we laugh together the more our lives become entangled. The heat that our bodies generate as we laugh as a couple welds us together forming a beautiful bronze sculpture that will last the test of time…even if we fade into a different shade than what we started as. There is a special energy that our bodies emit when we laugh that prevails over that quiet yelling and screaming we hide from our children. Our love grows every single time he laughs at me– YES, he laughs at me. Often and repeatedly.

To you the stranger I might be the serious one. To my children I might be the extremely strict disciplinarian. Looking at my choices (minus the sexual freedom) you would think I am an absolute SQUARE but in his presence I am my absolute self. The softest sweetest girl that knows fairy tales aren’t real but that believes in an everlasting love that lifts her above her sordid past high enough to fly above. A never ending story that began with laughter in a moment in which the world saw him losing – in a moment in which she realized he had the hands that would take her hands in forever.

In sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer until death does them part. A life filled with enough laughter to cover the pain which she causes him. Pain which she regrets because he is the lover that has always stayed. He has stayed because he knows that beyond that pain she causes it is in HIS arms that she can be free to not be strong and to show him her wrongs…

…Wrongs that he does not count or hold against her since almost every single night that they have ended together has ended with laughter – the world’s most powerful aphrodisiac!

I’m smiling. I’m laughing. I’m in love.

xo, Anaín