Anaín Bjorkquist

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Hi! I am Anaín. I’m a holistic sex & relationship coach that loves to work with women that aren’t afraid to break rules or a few eggs while cooking up lives that satiate them. Learn more about me, my work and how I can help you give yourself that good love and have sex that rocks here.

I work with clients in two life-changing, transformative ways – sex & relationship coaching and feminine leadership coaching. But at the core of all my coaching is helping you get clear about what brings you pleasure—in and out of the bedroom. Learn more here.

There are over 250 articles on this blog about sex, love, relationships, motherhood and so much more. There are several erotic stories and some poetry. Plus, many guest posts written by some great bloggers with unique perspectives on these subjects. Click here to start reading.

As I was emerging the winner of a lifelong battle with depression, I realized that boundaries were the only way to keep my stressful life from overwhelming me. Boundaries kept me sane, helped me figure out who/what to pour my love and energy into and assured that my heart wouldn’t be easily shattered again.

Years ago, I wrote that boundaries are the best way to make sure you are valued, so about a year ago when I heard Danielle LaPorte’s “Open, gentle heart. Big fucking fence.” I thought yesssssssssssssss!!! Hell yes! She was speaking my heart with all the eloquence.

Press play if you’ve never heard it or want to be reminded of her genius poem on boundaries.

Boundaries are also, as Danielle said, a way to protect your heart so that you can keep it wide open.

You need to protect your heart. Fiercely.

Protecting your heart becomes easy enough after one has experienced enough heartache.

It doesn’t take too long to learn that those that tell you that you are too emotional usually don’t care much about your feelings.

One or two perpetual line jumpers is all it takes to put up a “big, fucking fence” around your heart.

But how do you keep your heart open when you’ve become afraid to love or you distrust your own knowing?

You become more vigilant about your boundaries!

You stop giving people third, fourth and more chances when they’ve shown you more than once that they aren’t invested in it like you.

When you are afraid to love and distrust yourself you should completely concentrate on your commitment to show up for yourself.

Because boundaries also are the thin line between self-love and self-hate.

This is the part of the conversation that tends to be left out when boundaries are discussed…a lack of them or minimal ones reflect a lack of self-worth.

And when I say this, please understand that I am not referring to you having to follow any societal or moral code in regards to respectability. Your boundaries are very much yours. Your big, fucking fence is going to be very different than mine.

Because your boundaries are also your triggers.

Those things that set you off. Those things that mean more to you than anything else. Those things that you probably didn’t get growing up. Those things that have been invalidated repeatedly by others. And habitually being triggered tears away the foundation of your self-worth and eventually makes you feel completely powerless. But…

You aren’t powerless even if you have made all the wrong choices from there to here.

Even if your heart is utterly closed, in it are all the answers you have been seeking.

And the only way to access that inner knowing is to become the one person in this world that respects your boundaries.

Because boundaries are your commitment to thriving.

Give yourself that good love you want from others.

Respect your soul’s desires by starting before you are ready.

Don’t ignore what hurts your body, mind or soul.

Trust that you can feel any and all emotions fully.

Be the asshole. Be the bitch.

Be whatever it takes to protect your gentle heart.

© Anaín Bjorkquist August 21, 2015 ~ All Rights Reserved.

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In this episode of Sex Love Joy, I interview holistic health and movement coach Jennifer Sterling. Jennifer Sterling explains all about how to nourish yourself at the table and away from it. She shares how her relationship to sensual movement helped her become more aware and feel more alive. She also talks about her experience as a mother and about her struggles with food allergies. Connect with Jennifer Sterling: jennifersterling.com // Twitter // Instagram // Facebook

About Jennifer Sterling

For years Jennifer struggled with how food owned her life, then she took control of not just her plate, but her passion. A once-upon-a-time bakery owner with a background in movement and dance, she helps women create mindful lives.

CatalystCon West – Burbank, CA

Advancing Racial Justice in Sexuality Education

Friday, September 11, 2015

It’s time to wake up, America, and stay woke. Our work as sexuality professionals is deeply necessary and has revolutionary potential. So how can we ensure we are actually sowing the seeds of social change? This pre-con will offer participants a range of tools for working more effectively towards racial justice in the field of sexuality. Racial justice refers to a wide range of ways in which groups and individuals struggle to change laws, policies, practices and ideas that reinforce and perpetuate racial disparities. The struggle for racial justice must address the ongoing practices that perpetuate these disparities and actively seek to dismantle them. This workshop provides a balance of self-reflection opportunities with engaging learning activities and deeper intersectional analysis of how racial justice and sexuality connect in contemporary social justice movements. The goal? To make a difference through our work without leaving communities in the dust.

For more information about CatalystCon West please click here.

CatalystCon West – Burbank, CA

Sharing Your Sex Life on the Page and the Stage

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Whether on the page, stage or podcast, sharing personal sex stories means making public what’s often deemed private and inviting audiences to read, hear—and judge. What are the biggest challenges and rewards of airing our “dirty” laundry? How do we decide which sex stories are worth telling? Is there such a thing as TMI? How can we be deeply honest while honoring others’ boundaries (and having ours respected)? How can we tie our lives into what’s happening in the larger world and further social and political change? Is writing about your sex life different than sharing it live or via podcast? This panel will explore what it’s like to invite readers, listeners and audiences inside our bedrooms, and beyond. Featuring Anaín Bjorkquist, sex educator and host of the Sex Love Joy podcast, Gaby Dunn, writer, comedian, YouTuber and co-host of web series Just Between Us, and Dixie de la Tour, founder, host and curator of long-running live storytelling show Bawdy Storytelling. Moderated by Rachel Kramer Bussel, Philadelphia City Paper and DAME sex columnist and author of the personal essay collection Sex & Cupcakes.

For more information about CatalystCon West please click here.