inner lives are sacred

My ears perked up when I heard her say, “You must nourish and protect your inner life.” She definitely was telling the entire damn truth. I knew all too well the value of being within oneself; I had learned self-love the hard way. What I learned the hard way is that our inner lives are sacred. It is on the inside where we sow our seeds, figuratively and literally even if you are not female bodied, it is on the outside where we harvest everything we’ve planted.

It is not possible to control the outside of yourself until you have mastered your breathing space. It is not possible to change anything until you understand the substance you wish to change. ― Jeanette Winterson

It wasn’t until I repeatedly, found myself standing in the ashes of what I once thought would feed my future, with nothing but a fistful of tears in my hands that I stopped focusing on the outside and went inside. I instinctively and as an act of self-preservation, went inside of myself to do the work that would ensure that no matter what life threw my way, that there would always be a positive to feed my soul and help me live another day. It was so much more than just thinking positive thoughts, doing acts of self-love, being with my emotions or focusing on myself; this was a new way of living thriving.

My tips for nourishing and protecting a sacred inner life that helps you thrive in today’s world.

  • Nourish Your Inner Life.

Feed your inner life the things that allow it to dream then expand. Nourishing your inner life requires being connected to the ebb flow of energy within you. For me, this diet mostly consists of music, books, relaxing seaside/mountainside getaways, moments of silence and conversations with people that listen without influencing but that gently nudge me towards the right decisions. My diet isn’t always low-key; who doesn’t eat something exotic or spicy once in awhile? Sometimes to nourish my inner life, I have to get my body moving vigorously. Yes, sometimes I feel the need to feast on action; running, biking, hiking and especially all things dancing. When I am in need of active nourishment, it also involves spending more time than usual around large groups of like-minded people, talking and laughing loud, sipping on our favorite drinks in a overcrowded bar or dancing the night away as sweat drips off our energized bodies. Just like the Earth has seasons our bodies have cycles, even if you are not female bodied, your soul has to adjust to the season within.

Fill yourself with all the delicious things you love and that inner voice will reward you with healthier thoughts and conversations that lead to bigger dreams. Feeding your inner life the best guarantees outer actions in a positive direction. Staying focused within, knowing exactly what kind of loving you need to keep you moving forward and balanced is the key to letting go of worry, struggle and pain. Believe me, as a person that spent too many years fighting depression, I know all too well that if you don’t feed yourself exactly what you need when you need it your inner world becomes a hell and your inner self an abused abusive demon.

You have to remember that no matter where you go there you always are. You cannot run from yourself. Your work, your lovers, your friends, your family, your parents…nobody can save you, except for you. You are the hero in your story. You have to be everything to yourself and guess what that means? That you have to feed yourself and then you have to protect yourself.

  • Protect Your Inner Life.

Protecting your inner life is where you’ll begin to get your hands dirty, how your real strength will emerge and when you’ll find out if you are cut out to be a hero. Not everyone is cut out for this; even the ones that are have moments when they can’t save themselves. Usually, if you can’t protect your inner life from other people it is because you are having trouble protecting it from yourself. Are you currently your own worst enemy? Focus on nourishing your inner life and do nothing but that.

Sometimes the only way you can protect your inner life is by doing nothing other than nourishing it. This is an especially radical subversive act when you are a parent but if you don’t provide yourself with what you need consistently more than likely you are not showing up fully as a parent. You might be doing a great job at being a parent but you are absolutely drained, exhausted and many times even resentful because you have been everything to your children without first being something to yourself. If you are married or in a relationship, these can also apply to you. Protect your inner life from yourself by doing less of the things you have to and more of the things you need to.

Too often protecting your inner life means shutting life suckers and energy vampires out of your life. As a High Priestess of Intuition, I often set bridges on fire just to keep people as far as possible from all that is good within me. Nourishing my inner life has given me a keen sensitivity for seeing which people have pure intentions and which ones have arrived to drain me. If you find yourself often complaining about someone in your life it is probably time for them to go. Cut that person off, tactfully is always best, then figure out what about you they were reflecting that you need to work on. These days whenever a person rubs me the wrong way, I first look really close to see what about them is triggering me. If following the trigger leads me to work that I have to do within myself, I figure out if I can do the work while this person is still in my life or if them constantly triggering me would hinder that work. Depending on that answer I decide whether I should burn a bridge or allow the person all the way up to my moat. If following the trigger shows me absolutely nothing that I need to work on and this person is still triggering me they always go and I don’t even care if I do it tactfully.

You have too much to fight for to wait for a savior or the ideal conditions to live the life you dream of… nourish and protect your inner life… make it hard for life’s circumstances to knock you down. Do not lay down on the inside!

xo, Anaín

Nobody Can Make It Out Here Alone by Dr. Phoenyx

What’s your biggest goal in life? What have you dreamed about since you were a little girl or a little boy? For me, it has always been one thing… becoming an author.

This year, I finally achieved my greatest goal. I wrote my first book, If You Love It, It Will Grow: A Guide To Growing Long Afro-Textured Hair, which is set to publish February 2012.

I sat down and wrote every single word of my 60,000 word manuscript. And I spent seemingly endless days locked in my home writing and revising- then writing and revising some more. But this project was not a one-woman show, not by a long shot. If not for the element of the human connection, I would not have found the inspiration for this book. Furthermore, without the help of others, I would not have been able to take a simple Word document and transform it to the beautiful book that is sitting on my bed as I type this post. From my editor, to my photographer, to my graphic designer, to my friends and my family- without the help and guidance of others, I would not have been able to make my lifelong dream a reality. (more…)

Loss by Wookiesgirl


…such a small word and yet, for some, its meaning is unfathomably huge.  So much so, that it can be the only thing we see, feel and breathe.

Today marks the two year anniversary of the death of my cousin, Jacob. He died as the result of a drug overdose. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him. He is by far the biggest loss I’ve had in the last three years.

I want to talk about what loss means to me, what it looks like and how it feels right at this moment.

my heart is sick of being in chains

Had a poignant conversation today with a new friend that I trust very much. A new friend that trusts me too. We have been confiding all sorts of things. We started sharing our dreams for our careers and we’ve moved to talking about our childhoods and mothers. My friend is beautiful on the outside but especially on the inside. My friend is balanced. My friend is smart. My friend is ambitious. My friend has it together. My friend is absolutely going places. I wish I was more like her but I am so extremely happy for her because the last thing I want is company in my misery. My friend is the me I could have been had I sought therapy and made better choices. (more…)

secrets + friendship

You don’t want to be the one they tell all their secrets to. You don’t want to be that friend that always gets to hear what they wouldn’t tell others. Through the years,  I have often been the first person to find out about this or that and although I am great at keeping secrets I don’t seem to be great at keeping the friends that tell me their secrets. I’ve learned that being the confidant puts you in danger of becoming the friend that gets dropped when they want to forget what they’ve said, thought or done. When a friend shares with me some deep dark secret I listen, place their secret deep in my memory never to be shared with anyone else then mark the day that I knew that friendship would end eventually. I have always wondered why these people grow apart from me especially when they trusted me so much. Why are friends quick to drop the friends that they confide in even if the friend has never betrayed their trust? (more…)

i have my own PMS. i don’t have to put up with yours!

I can’t tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like / …As long as the wrong feels right it’s like I’m in flight

Those lyrics describe me at my worst when I’m in the midst of oppressive PMS. Yes, this post is about PMS and I think that if you have a set of testicles you should still stay around to read it. A couple of weeks ago I wondered openly on my Facebook page,

I’m starting to believe that women while PMSing are as honest and mean as some Drunks. What do you guys think? Do the extra hormones cause some ladies to be looser with the truth? I want to hear your thoughts…working on a theory…


these are my kids and I got this!

If you are a mother and you tell me that every single night you go to bed without thinking of at least one thing you could have done better I am not going to believe you. I also won’t believe you if you say that you have never gone to bed completely exhausted wondering where your energy to fuel tomorrow will come from. There might be a real life Super Mom out there some place that can do it all while keeping a perfectly clean house, perfectly manicured nails all while working from home and homeschooling. (more…)