Had a very troubling conversation with some of my girlfriends on the phone that bothered me enough to write about it. We were chatting about relationships, love and life in general when one of the women on our call (she’s more a friend of a friend than my friend) started to belittle another woman we know for “settling” in love. Friend-Of-A-Friend went in about how the person Lady X married didn’t have as much education as X and the list of her complaints about X’s partner went on and on. I usually won’t touch the topic of settling when it does come up but this time was an exception. I decided to take on Friend-Of-A-Friend, but before I tell you how that went I want to tell you about a very revealing conversation I had with another friend of mine on this very topic.
A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine asked on her Facebook page:
When people say “settle” in love, what does that word, settle, mean to you?
When she asked, I definitely stayed out of the debate on Facebook but the next time we spoke on the phone about her upcoming book the subject came up and we chatted about it. Like me, she doesn’t care for the word. She asked the question as part of the research for her book and she was asking about it in a completely different light than most people usually do. Our initial talk on the subject was short mainly because we agreed on most things but a few days later I called her to share the epiphany I had about settling since our last conversation.
I rarely hear anyone say that men settle when it comes to love.
Honestly, when was the last time you heard anyone say that a man settled in love? People usually don’t say that. Yet, society loves to stress the point of women settling over and over again. Why is it that people are so consumed with this idea of women settling?