Grab your coffee, tea or beverage of choice (yes alcohol is allowed) and let’s discuss marital sex, shall we?
My husband and I were sitting quietly together the other night. We were discussing our sexual life. Our sex life has not been the greatest over the past two plus years. It’s diminished significantly, and as we sat and discussed our sex life, or lack of one, we reviewed our entire sexual history together. What we found was that it had been a roller coaster almost the entire time we’ve been together. This was not a surprise to us. However, it did help us to put things into perspective.
We’ve been together just over eleven years, and married for the last ten of those years. Like most couples, when we were first together, we were like a couple of bunnies. We had sex constantly and truly, from the beginning, with the exception of the first time, we had amazing sexual chemistry. We fit together perfectly and always seemed to know just how to please each other. We got engaged after six months of dating and married the day before our one-year dating anniversary. We were both very close to age thirty at the time and wanted to have children. I already had a ten year old and let’s face it the clock was ticking, so we started trying for a baby immediately.
I am not like most women in regards to the topic of sex during or after pregnancy. Hell, I’m not like most women in regards to most topics, but that’s beside the point. In regards to sexual desire during or after pregnancy, I have none…plain and simple. We got married in October and by January, I was pregnant with our first child together. Almost immediately, I lost my sex drive. Naturally, my husband was a bit confused and concerned. I went from being very sexually responsive, initiating sex or responding to his advances regularly, to a complete cold fish. Most all women walk around while pregnant in a natural state of arousal. My lack of arousal, I believe, has something to do with too much progesterone in my system, but this is only a theory on my part. It was this way with all three of my pregnancies as well as while I was nursing. After that pregnancy, I mentioned things started to become “normal” again in our sex life when my son turned one.