hump day heat: just touch me

Do you ever feel too tired for sex? Do you ever feel like you aren’t connecting with your partner enough to follow through on sex?

Today’s hump day heat exercise might just be the cure for you.

Don’t think there isn’t a person around that doesn’t have stress in their life. This time of year it seems like all the stress of the festivities add up on top of our normal stress, then before we know it we are too tired for sex.

Sometimes the last thing I want to hear from my partner after a long day of meeting all my responsibilities, jumping over life’s hurdles and trying to find five minutes in my day to unwind – is a request to have sex. Often even on the days when I know that sex is totally what would hit the spot, allowing me to relax, feel fulfilled and fall asleep quickly, I can’t bring myself to initiate it.

Instead of trying to get yourselves in the mood, of fighting your lack of energy, of continually feeling like you and yours aren’t on the same wavelength, let it all go!

Yes, the problems, the resentment, the stress, how the kids didn’t appreciate that gourmet meal you made, the fact that your dog chewed up one of your favorite stilettos, but especially let go of any expectations for sex tonight.

I want you to get naked, get in bed and just share a session of sensual touch minus sexual expectations.

Take turns giving and receiving sensual touch. Cuddle for a couple of minutes before, after changing roles and at the end of the exercise. Thirty to forty-five minutes naked together sharing the experience of giving and receiving touch might just be exactly what y’all need to relax enough to add some much needed recharged arousal in your relationship.

 Just Touch Me Sensually Minus Sexual Expectations Exercise

You’ll need:

  • an open mind
  • your partner
  • less than 45 minutes of uninterrupted quiet time
  • your favorite private cuddling spot
  • plush warm blanket or two

The Actions…

  • Decide what order you’ll give and receive in.
  • Lovers fully undress then get into your private cozy cuddling spot. Yes, your bed works great!
  • Before starting cuddle for a minute or two.
  • Receiver you only have two responsibilities during this exercise receive touch and give your love mindful feedback about what you like or dislike about how they are touching you.
  • The giver goes towards the foot of the bed to initiate the touch process.
  • Giver it is your job to start touching (not massaging) your love’s front side from toe to head.
  • Giver once you’ve gotten to your love’s head have them turn on their stomach and touch their backside from head to toe.
  • Giver continue to touch your partner until you’ve spent at least ten minutes but no more than fifteen minutes touching them.
  • After the 10-15 minutes spoon your partner for 2-5 minutes.
  • Change roles and new giver repeats the giving sequence above, ending with another 2-5 minutes of cuddling/spooning.
  • If you both become aroused enough for sex and want to follow through that’s perfectly fine but it is totally okay if you don’t want to have sex or don’t become aroused.

Now go out there beautiful ones and do your homework!

And don’t forget to share it with your friends on Facebook/Twitter because honestly, who can’t use a little more sex, love, joy in their lives?

xo, Anaín

hump day heat: playing games

Do you like to play sex games with your lover?

Are you a toy enthusiast?

Want to step out of your everyday sex routine with your lover?

Well, here is a game you can play with your lover to spice things up…

  • Go into your toy arsenal and pull out several of your favorite sex toys, massage oils, and/or other essentials that you would like to incorporate into your lovemaking.
  • Arrange the chosen items out on the bed; try your best to make the display visually appealing.
  • Ask your partner to pick one of the toys from the available selections that they want you to use on them.
  • Ask your partner to pick one of the toys from the available selections that they want to use on you.
  • Repeat the last two steps until there are no objects left.
  • Pleasure your partner with one of the items they picked to be used on them.
  • Have your partner use one of the items they picked to be used on you to pleasure you.
  • Continue taking turns pleasuring one another until you’ve used all the items selected.
  • Enjoy all the sex, love and joy that this Hump Day Heat exercise brings you and yours!

xo, Anaín

toys for jacking off

It is officially National Masturbation Month!

Time to start jilling and jacking off like mad!

Yes, May is National Masturbation Month but if you didn’t know you aren’t the only one because many Americans aren’t aware about it either. If you’d like to find out about how May became National Masturbation Month there is an article here that explains how it all came about (no pun intended).

Today, I bring to you videos and more information from one of my favorite fellow sex educators, Jayme Waxman, that will help those of you with male parts improve your jacking off.

Jamye Waxman on Toys for Boys…

This weekend after I presented with two others about polyisoprene condoms, I had the pleasure of watching Jamye and another sex educator give an energizing and detailed presentation on the topic of toys for boys. Their presentation focused on the pros and cons of the Cobra Libre, the Man Eater by Big Teaze and the Screaming O Vibrating Ring.

Has anyone seen my libido? by Dorothy F. Shaw

Grab your coffee, tea or beverage of choice (yes alcohol is allowed) and let’s discuss marital sex, shall we?

My husband and I were sitting quietly together the other night. We were discussing our sexual life. Our sex life has not been the greatest over the past two plus years. It’s diminished significantly, and as we sat and discussed our sex life, or lack of one, we reviewed our entire sexual history together. What we found was that it had been a roller coaster almost the entire time we’ve been together. This was not a surprise to us. However, it did help us to put things into perspective.

We’ve been together just over eleven years, and married for the last ten of those years.  Like most couples, when we were first together, we were like a couple of bunnies. We had sex constantly and truly, from the beginning, with the exception of the first time, we had amazing sexual chemistry. We fit together perfectly and always seemed to know just how to please each other. We got engaged after six months of dating and married the day before our one-year dating anniversary. We were both very close to age thirty at the time and wanted to have children. I already had a ten year old and let’s face it the clock was ticking, so we started trying for a baby immediately.

I am not like most women in regards to the topic of sex during or after pregnancy. Hell, I’m not like most women in regards to most topics, but that’s beside the point. In regards to sexual desire during or after pregnancy, I have none…plain and simple. We got married in October and by January, I was pregnant with our first child together. Almost immediately, I lost my sex drive. Naturally, my husband was a bit confused and concerned. I went from being very sexually responsive, initiating sex or responding to his advances regularly, to a complete cold fish. Most all women walk around while pregnant in a natural state of arousal. My lack of arousal, I believe, has something to do with too much progesterone in my system, but this is only a theory on my part. It was this way with all three of my pregnancies as well as while I was nursing. After that pregnancy, I mentioned things started to become “normal” again in our sex life when my son turned one.

G-spot – Wanted Dead or Alive! by Dorothy F. Shaw

I’m on a mission. I’m determined to find my G-spot. Let me tell you why:
I believe either I don’t have a G-spot or it’s broken.

I’ve talked with many of my friends about this, both men and women. The men feel that with the proper attention the G-spot can and will be found. The women that actually have found their G-spot and have experienced the earth shattering orgasms that are said to accompany stimulating this little area, have tried to explain to me where it is and how to find it. I have one friend that said, “You need to have someone, (meaning a woman) that knows where it is show you.” Then, “and it’s not going to be me.” Of course, I laughed quite hard and asked why not? Were we not close enough for her to stick her fingers inside my body and…? Ahem…well, you get the picture. “Fine, but I’m using gloves,” she replied.

Getting back to my original goal, I recently purchased a G-spot vibrator. It looked like it would do the trick. Rather than me try to describe it, here is a picture for you.

The Wireless Thumbs up G-spot Vibrator

Looks pretty good, right?

Needless to say, when my carefully packaged toy came in the mail, I was very excited to use it. And so, I did. Aaand…no dice. I didn’t feel anything except, of course, the vibration from the vibrator on my clitoris. On the inside, where I was supposed to feel the vibration on my G-spot? Nothing. Nada. Zilch.

plugged into pleasure series – how i lost my partner orgasms

Orgasms everybody enjoys having and giving them but for many women they are difficult to come by which can be frustrating to their partners that try so very hard to please them. Orgasms were something I never had any problem attaining before becoming a mother – with any man, in almost any position, at any time I knew what to do to get my orgasm.

I was the go-to friend for tips and tricks about orgasm. The first thing that I would tell my girlfriends was that they shouldn’t blame their lovers for not having orgasms because we as women were just as responsible for our orgasms as our partners. My girlfriends would usually sigh but sit and listen to all my advice about how to achieve orgasm. My favorite line was, “If you want to orgasm you need to be in charge of the fucking!” Most of my girls were embarrassed by that line but they always came back to thank me after my tricks and tips worked for them.

In my circle I was very proud to be the sexpert! Sex was my thing and I really enjoyed it to the fullest but after having my first son having orgasms during partner sex started to become an issue for me. It wasn’t a problem but there were moments that the rush of an upcoming orgasm would disappear a lot quicker than it had taken it to start. This issue would become a full blown problem by the time my last son was a few months old. I was frustrated because sex with my partner hardly ever resulted in orgasms anymore. It became tedious, mundane, repetitive and felt more like an obligation than a pleasure.

a few good-at-sex-men

When I talk to my friends about their first sexual relationships some of them shudder then laugh. I’ve heard all sorts of stories from friends about why they had sex with the first few men. Their reasons range from wanting to lose their virginity and thinking it was the “next phase” of their relationships to wanting their boyfriends to love them and because they were afraid to lose the boyfriend they loved to another girl that would “put out”. Few of my friends have admitted that the reason why they had sex with the first few men in their lives was because they wanted to and they wanted to experience the pleasure of sex.  I guess that from the beginning I didn’t think about sex like my girlfriends did. (more…)

pleasure of pleasuring

With the right person in the right place at the right time doing all the right things that brings me great pleasure!

When done properly and explored fully there is nothing more sensual than giving someone else pleasure. Although getting your partner to orgasm can bring you joy there is much more to attaining pleasure from pleasuring than bringing them to the moment of climax. Sight, touch, taste, smell and hearing the gateways to sexual euphoria should all be unlocked as you make love to your partner. Pleasuring involves respecting all the senses and learning what is the key that promotes pleasure through each. Exploring the intricate details of how to get each sense to bring your partner pleasure requires you to be more alert, receptive and responsive. Being alert, receptive and responsive to your partners sexual likes, dislikes, wants, and needs helps heightens your own sexual awareness. (more…)