A few hours ago, I woke up from a dream that was so romantic, intense, sexual, scary, sweet, confrontational and comforting all at the same time but it was mostly exhausting. Yes, exhausting is how I would describe most of the dreams I’ve been having this year. I don’t know how many of them I would call dreams because moving through these active endless vivid dreams feels more like a nightmare than a dream when what my body craves is restful sleep.
I have been dreaming of sex with women & men & women & men… a lot of sex and my spouse is always in these dreams.
These dreams where I am having sex with him and other people or where he is having sex with other people are very new. During our many years of marriage I can’t say I had sexual dreams in which I could clearly see his face. I would dream about having sex with a body and I would think it was him or in the dream I would feel his presence but I would never see him.
I see his face in my sexual dreams now. In these dreams we have reached the point where we effortlessly can have sex with others without the “checking in” with one another emotionally before, during or after. We are fully secure with our sexuality, our relationship and our emotions in these dreams. Sometimes there are events in these dreams that make me feel uneasy and it is always him that I look to for comfort or rescue. This is so new to me – all of it but especially turning to anyone for rescue. Very new.