hump day heat: just touch me

Do you ever feel too tired for sex? Do you ever feel like you aren’t connecting with your partner enough to follow through on sex?

Today’s hump day heat exercise might just be the cure for you.

Don’t think there isn’t a person around that doesn’t have stress in their life. This time of year it seems like all the stress of the festivities add up on top of our normal stress, then before we know it we are too tired for sex.

Sometimes the last thing I want to hear from my partner after a long day of meeting all my responsibilities, jumping over life’s hurdles and trying to find five minutes in my day to unwind – is a request to have sex. Often even on the days when I know that sex is totally what would hit the spot, allowing me to relax, feel fulfilled and fall asleep quickly, I can’t bring myself to initiate it.

Instead of trying to get yourselves in the mood, of fighting your lack of energy, of continually feeling like you and yours aren’t on the same wavelength, let it all go!

Yes, the problems, the resentment, the stress, how the kids didn’t appreciate that gourmet meal you made, the fact that your dog chewed up one of your favorite stilettos, but especially let go of any expectations for sex tonight.

I want you to get naked, get in bed and just share a session of sensual touch minus sexual expectations.

Take turns giving and receiving sensual touch. Cuddle for a couple of minutes before, after changing roles and at the end of the exercise. Thirty to forty-five minutes naked together sharing the experience of giving and receiving touch might just be exactly what y’all need to relax enough to add some much needed recharged arousal in your relationship.

 Just Touch Me Sensually Minus Sexual Expectations Exercise

You’ll need:

  • an open mind
  • your partner
  • less than 45 minutes of uninterrupted quiet time
  • your favorite private cuddling spot
  • plush warm blanket or two

The Actions…

  • Decide what order you’ll give and receive in.
  • Lovers fully undress then get into your private cozy cuddling spot. Yes, your bed works great!
  • Before starting cuddle for a minute or two.
  • Receiver you only have two responsibilities during this exercise receive touch and give your love mindful feedback about what you like or dislike about how they are touching you.
  • The giver goes towards the foot of the bed to initiate the touch process.
  • Giver it is your job to start touching (not massaging) your love’s front side from toe to head.
  • Giver once you’ve gotten to your love’s head have them turn on their stomach and touch their backside from head to toe.
  • Giver continue to touch your partner until you’ve spent at least ten minutes but no more than fifteen minutes touching them.
  • After the 10-15 minutes spoon your partner for 2-5 minutes.
  • Change roles and new giver repeats the giving sequence above, ending with another 2-5 minutes of cuddling/spooning.
  • If you both become aroused enough for sex and want to follow through that’s perfectly fine but it is totally okay if you don’t want to have sex or don’t become aroused.

Now go out there beautiful ones and do your homework!

And don’t forget to share it with your friends on Facebook/Twitter because honestly, who can’t use a little more sex, love, joy in their lives?

xo, Anaín

hump day heat: playing games

Do you like to play sex games with your lover?

Are you a toy enthusiast?

Want to step out of your everyday sex routine with your lover?

Well, here is a game you can play with your lover to spice things up…

  • Go into your toy arsenal and pull out several of your favorite sex toys, massage oils, and/or other essentials that you would like to incorporate into your lovemaking.
  • Arrange the chosen items out on the bed; try your best to make the display visually appealing.
  • Ask your partner to pick one of the toys from the available selections that they want you to use on them.
  • Ask your partner to pick one of the toys from the available selections that they want to use on you.
  • Repeat the last two steps until there are no objects left.
  • Pleasure your partner with one of the items they picked to be used on them.
  • Have your partner use one of the items they picked to be used on you to pleasure you.
  • Continue taking turns pleasuring one another until you’ve used all the items selected.
  • Enjoy all the sex, love and joy that this Hump Day Heat exercise brings you and yours!

xo, Anaín

fourteen years of marriage

On June 12, 1998 at around 10:30pm my love and I got married at the Chapel of the Bells in South Lake Tahoe, California, after only 45 days of knowing one another. We had only kissed once and had never had sex before we said our marriage vows. Our marriage began as our way of moving off base so we could hold on to what we could feel was growing between us. Our marriage was something we treated lightly during the first few months; we were friends playing house.

By October 31, 1998 it had become extremely clear that there was something powerfully healing that bonded us on top of the easy friendship that filled our lives with laughter and our sexual attraction. As time passed, circumstances beyond our control and many of the choices we made together and as individuals tested our marriage; we passed test after test. Passing these many tests over the last fourteen years has etched different dates in our memory that mean to us just as much as our wedding anniversary and October 31, 1998.

A lot of people look at the love we now share, a love that is stronger now than ever before, a love that is filled with hope, a love that is vibrant and shiny and easy and comfortable and everything that many people want and these people say…

You’re so lucky!

Well, we are lucky that at the young age of 21 we against all strange odds were paired up to clean dorms together for a week. We are lucky that we both agreed to do the craziest dumbest smart thing in the world by marrying one another just 45 days later. We are lucky that the Celestial Planning Committee made it so that we were together on October 31, 1998 so that we could realize that an easy friendship and laughter meant more to us than anything else at that time (and it still does). We are lucky in many regards but luck has never been what has kept us together.

dynamics of threesomes series – part two

Well, I hope that Part One of this Threesomes Guide for Couples helped y’all some. Here we go with part two dedicated to choices you’ll have to make as a couple before actually having a threesome. Ready?

There are a lot of decisions you’ll have to make as a couple in order to take the threesome from fantasy you talk about to spice up your sex life to reality. A threesome sounds like such a yummy fantasy that everyone should get to experience at least once but having been part of several myself I can say that they often fall very short of that fantasy image we each have in our heads…especially when you are functioning as a couple and not just an individual during a threesome! My advice and tips won’t guarantee that things will go well for you but they should at the very least help you make less mistakes. (more…)

dynamics of threesomes series part one

So. You are one half of a happy stable sexually active couple that is open-minded about the possibility of inviting a third person into your bed? No? Then this guide isn’t for you. If you are a man or woman that is trying to figure out the right argument to present your significant other about allowing a third person into your bedroom this guide isn’t for you either. This post is strictly for those men and women that have already had a conversation about fulfilling their threesome fantasy with their partner. (more…)

be great at love!

It is almost Valentine’s Day! I’m so not excited! ::sighs::

I might not love the idea of Valentine’s but I won’t be a Sour Sally by writing a negative post about how I think it is a silly holiday that is a great economical boost for the flower, greeting card and chocolate industries. No, I just won’t do that and I won’t give you five tips for this or that to make your Valentine’s more romantic, sensual or exotic. Nope, won’t do that either. Instead I’ll give you one quick tip that might help you insure that the man or woman that will be your Valentine this year will be your Valentine again next year. Yes, this post is for those of you that have been in a relationship and want to keep it that way. (more…)